Day 23 – LOVE LETTER

Day 23 – LOVE LETTER

 Today take some time to write a love letter. This letter can be written to anyone you like. Maybe it is a letter to yourself, a letter to a friend or family member. It could be a letter to your children or maybe an open letter to other bereaved people guiding them towards healing and beauty. Be as creative as you please.

To my children,

I have dreamt about each of you from the time I was a child myself. I have always wanted to be a mother. I remember holding a fake baby and laying it on my shoulder walking around and letting it "sleep" for so long that my low back started to hurt.  I loved taking care of my cousins that were babies. When your daddy and I got married I was so excited to be taking all the steps in my life to be bringing you into this world. I knew I needed to finish my schooling, but I wanted you so bad. I dreamt about being a mother of my own children all the time. When I had each of you I couldn't  believe how fiercely my love was for each of you. It only grew as the days passed that I had the opportunity to raise you. 

Addyson, you have been such a sunshine in our lives. You make me laugh every day. You have such a sweet little tender heart too. Your feelings get hurt so easily, but yet you show no fear. You will light up a room and make everyone laugh with being silly or some kind of joke. 

Corbyn, my angel, you were my angel baby even before you passed. You were such a good baby. You loved everyone and had this perfect glow about you. I have had the most intense love for you the minute I found out I was pregnant with you. I felt like I had to protect you. Like I already knew that something was going to happen to you and I needed to prevent it. You were my cuddle guy. If I or someone else wanted to cuddle you they could and you would stay right there. You showed your love for your mama through giving me kisses. From a very young age you would grab my face and pull it towards you and give "kisses". You only would give me kisses, but I loved it. The day you left shattered me. The intense love that I had for you my grief mirrored it. The intense longing I have for you is indescribable. I understand why you were always so quick to hit your milestones. You had things to do and see that you couldn't stay put. I love you so much!

Ledgyr, my rainbow, my support. You have such a special job on this earth and you are living up to every bit of it. You truly are a rainbow after the storm. Your eyes are almost black, but yet they sparkle with beauty and happiness. You hate to see anyone sad and will try to see what's wrong. I was crying on the floor in the laundry room last week- you found me and knew just what to do to make me smile. You are your own person, but yet you have so many similarities as your brother. You came into this world at the perfect time. Just 5 hours short of your brother's angel day. It has been a blessing for me to focus on something good instead of reliving the 18th over and over again. I'm grateful for your little body and joyful spirit that you bring to our home. 

I know that I would not be the woman I am today if it weren't for my three children. They have made me become a better mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I'm forever grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing me the opportunity to raise some of his choicest spirits. My grief has made me realize that more. It has made me be compassionate and understanding of people. My grief has molded me into someone I didn't think I could become.