Party of 5- Your Table is Ready

Who would have ever thought that something as simple as a hostess calling a family with 5 members in it would hurt so much? Tonight it happened to be a trigger. Something as simple as calling the number that my family SHOULD be. 

As Corbyn's birthday approaches I'm constantly reminded of what should have been. I should have a little boy that should be turning 4, but yet all we are able to celebrate is a memory of what once was and what should have been. It breaks my heart that he is slowly becoming a distant memory to us. Just that thought has made the reality of us having a dead child come right back to the surface. We don't even know how to picture a 4 year old. Corby will forever be our little 13 month old. 

Three years ago today- we were celebrating our baby's first birthday as well as his daddy's.

Today- we celebrate his daddy's birthday without him here. 

It still is so painful, and today I feel like it's not fair.