What's in a name?

I was asked several times why I chose Corbyn's name by several people. I had people that either hated his name and wouldn't hide it when they would ask me why the name Corbyn, and then there were others that loved his name. I loved it. I thought it is a very masculine name that was good for an adult as well as a child. You know those names that you hear a baby having and all you think of was your grandparents friends or an adult's name that all you can think of is a little child running around instead of an adult? I thought the name Corbyn was neither of those. I never had a good answer as to why I chose that name for him when people would ask me so I would just say that Brock and I liked it. All of my baby's names have just come to me/us. They haven't come from a baby name list or book. With Addyson's name I distinctly remember standing in the grocery line at Macy's pregnant with Addy and the name Addyson Mari just popped into my head. When I asked Brock what he thought he said he liked it. It wasn't until later that I started hearing her name EVERYWHERE! I have thought several times about changing her name, but I never could because I knew that was her name that she was supposed to have. I never looked up the meaning of my children's names to see if they meant anything, so to me that didn't matter. My mother's instinct knew that their names were supposed to be what they are. It wasn't until after Corbyn passed that I my brother sent me the meaning of Corby's name that he found in a book that he was studying. He sent me the picture of the page so that I could read it myself.

When I read it I was brought to tears. I couldn't believe it! I had just got done reading a book called Your Endowment by Mark A. Shields that talked about how the temple was Heaven on earth that those two words are interchangeable. So when I read that Corban was dedicated to the temple it was a reassurance to me that he was meant for Heaven. That he was only my possession for a specified period and that period was only 411 days. It brought comfort to my heart and reassured to me that everything certainly does happen for a reason. I know now that Corby was supposed to be named that more than ever before. Brock was the one that came up with his name as we were sitting in the hospital after having Corby wondering what we were going to call him. We looked at all the baby name lists and nothing stuck with us. Just out of the blue he says to me "What about Corbin but change it to have a 'Y' "? We wanted to have all our babies have a 'Y' in their name. I immediately fell in love with it and knew that was supposed to be his name.
It doesn't stop there with the names though.... After we knew what we were going to name our third baby and we started telling people we got the same thing of people either hating it or loving it. The questions also followed along with hearing his name for the first time of why did we choose that name etc. I dreamt Ledgyr's name and woke up wide awake at 3:30 in the morning one morning knowing what our baby's name was supposed to be. I ran it by Brock and he immediately loved it as well. He asked me where I came up with that and I told him that I dreamt it. He made the comment that all our baby's names have just come to me. We didn't know why we needed to name him Ledgyr other than we liked the name. It too is masculine and works for a child as well as an adult. Plus it wasn't popular like Addy's name is so that was another positive to it. I didn't think to look up the meaning of Ledgyr's name, either, so I never did.
A couple of weeks ago my grandfather passed away and along came the emotions of loss and helplessness flooding back. I had just decorated Corby's grave for Christmas a few days prior, but needed to add his LED lights to his wreaths so I went to his grave with Addy and Ledgyr. We sat there at the cemetery for quite a while just talking about Corby and Grandpa. It breaks my heart that Addy knows about death all too well. I was so beyond emotional and it was comforting to have her there to keep me grounded so to not loose it completely.  My parents were on their way home from the hospital after saying their last goodbyes and stopped at the cemetery as well. My dad and I were talking and I was crying about how unfair death is and I wish that we never had to experience it. Also how much I hated the fact that I had to be at the cemetery at all. That it was always on my mind that I needed to go there and visit because I had my baby there. We started talking about how Ledgyr has been such a great thing for all of us, and I explained to my dad the meaning of a rainbow baby. He thought that was a perfect description for a baby after a loss. He then asked me the question why I named him Ledgyr. My first thought was great he doesn't like it and wants to know why such a special baby got such a dumb name in his book. I told him I didn't know other than I dreamt it. He asked me if I had ever looked up the meaning of ledger. I told him no and all I could think of was a ledger book. He has been in construction for as long as I can remember and there is also a ledger in construction. He told me the construction meaning of a ledger is a support member for other members of the structure. He figured that I chose Ledgyr's name based on the fact that he was brought here to support our family after such a horrendous earthquake that almost crumbled us into a heaping pile of mess.  I was again brought to tears and couldn't believe that there was such an important meaning to another of my child's names. I now know that my Heavenly Father has a hand in everything in our lives all the way down to what our names are. We may never know why we name our children what we do, but I am so grateful I have been able to find out why for two of my children.