Truths for mature humans
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize that you are wrong
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to take a nap when I was younger.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
How the h*** are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting it they told you how the person died.
Bad decisions make great stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I keep some people’s numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday of Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say “what?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
I love the sense of comaraderie when and entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! :)
Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey- but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, overtime!
That's all...
1 comment:
So funny!
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