A picture says a thousand words

There is a special thing that Corby used to do with us right before he passed. Brock talked about it at the funeral, but if you can't remember I'll fill you in. Addy's favorite movie around that time was E.T. she would walk around saying "E.T. phone home" and touching her finger to either mine or Brock's finger. Corby caught on quickly and he started doing it too. He would walk up to us making his "eh eh eh" sound holding his chubby little finger out for us to touch his. We tried several times to reciprocate it for other people to see because it was so cute, and he never would. I believe that it was him telling just his family that it was time for him to go home. After he passed I wanted to have a drawing of his little hand but twist it a little and instead of having him touch is finger to E.T. he would touch it to Christ's finger. I had an amazing friend offer to draw it for me. She spent countless hours and several months drawing it so that it was perfect for me. The detail that she put into it was unbelievable. I want to eventually put it on his head stone once we get plots for Brock, me, and him. The place we have him right now is my grandmother's plot and we knew from the very beginning that it would only be temporary. We needed somewhere to put him until we could get enough money to buy our own plots. It was also a comfort to me to have him not be buried alone and be next to my grandfather. It's such a terrifying feeling to not be able to have your baby with you or someone you know at all times. Even if it is only the shell of their body. That is still the body you know. I remember the night that they made us leave the ER and we had to leave him there the feeling I had was so terrifying and empty. The detective that drove him down to Salt Lake told me that he was so gentle with him and so careful the whole way because of the fact that he knew that was my baby he was transporting. That was a comfort, but just knowing he was there with strangers still makes my heart hurt.
Anyway, back to the original reason for this post. Here is a picture of the drawing.

I am so grateful for her and her amazing talents. I am grateful for her service to draw something so amazing for us.
Now for the second part of this. This last weekend was FanX. I was having a particularly hard time for some reason. I have talked about before about how I want to wear a sign around my neck telling people that I have another child.  I wanted a sign so bad that whole weekend. We took our nephew on the Friday for his birthday and there was a guy on Frontrunner that started talking to me about the kids I had with me. I so bad wanted to tell him that the boy playing with Addy wasn't my son and was my nephew, but at the same time it felt nice for someone to acknowledge that I had three children even if it was my nephew that I was using as my "sign". When it was Saturday I really wasn't wanting to go. I was tired and emotionally exhausted. I walked around the two days prior watching little boys running around in super hero costumes and wishing my little boy was running around too. I wondered what costume he would have chose to wear. I wondered if he would have stayed right by me or if he would have stayed right by me or if I would have been chasing after him the whole time. Chasing that I wish I had the chance to do.  Brock was there already on Saturday so I was meeting him and I kept having the feeling that I needed to go. I kept thinking along the lines that it was good quality time to spend with my husband. The last hour that we were there we were walking around the art section. I really was ready to go and we had already walked around the art section a few times the other two days, but I'm so glad that I didn't tell Brock that. because we came across this...

This is SO perfect because Corby's nickname was spidey. It's also a twist on his E.T. phone home thing. It felt like Corby was telling me that everything is fine and he's ok. For me to know that he is with me. I got chills when I saw this picture and I could feel him so strong. We asked the artist why he drew pictures of children with super heros. He told us that his first one was this one because that is him as a little boy and he always wanted to meet spiderman when he was little. I then told him why that picture was so perfect for us. After we spoke for a minute and went to get our money to pay for the picture he handed it to us and told us that he wanted us to have it to honor our Corby and his memory and it was the least he could do. I was blown away of the empathy he had for a complete stranger. There are some really great people in this world. You can check out his other art here. I am so thankful that I went that day. I can't stop staring at this picture. As we were walking to get out of the convention there were a few people that saw the print and told me how great it was. I was then able to tell a few more people about my baby. That felt really good even if I did cry when I told them. It always feels really good to talk about my perfect baby boy and I'm quite certain that won't change. No matter how many years pass.